On Sunday morning a man I'd never seen before walked into the fellowship hall at Parkway and introduced himself as Daniel.  He told me that he was homeless, traveling, and had recently been saved in a Starbucks.  He told me he felt like he needed to be in church, and ours was the closest to the bus stop where he was sleeping.  

The day before, at our Session retreat, the Elders of Parkway had unilaterally declared their commitment to creating an open, inclusive space at our church, where folks will feel welcomed to serve and worship regardless of age, gender, economic status, race, or sexual orientation.  

As I looked into Daniel's eyes, I thought, "here we go.  This is what we've been talking about.  Can we handle Daniel?  Can we truly be welcoming of this man?"  He smelled of cigarettes and dirt, and he looked ragged.  And I"m ashamed to admit I waited for the other shoe to drop, thinking, "When he asks me for money, what will I say to him?"  

There was one Sunday School class happening that morning, a Bible study of mostly women called the Mixed Nuts.  I introduced Daniel to some of its members who welcomed him warmly and showed him the way.  Behind closed doors they got into their Bible study, and more than once I heard loud laughter coming from the room.  

Daniel joined us for our All Saints' Day worship celebration, which was held in casual cafe style, at round tables with coffee and bread.  Shortly after the sermon, he interrupted me and asked to speak.  He shared with us his journey into homelessness, his drug and alcohol addiction, and his miraculous experience at Starbucks.  He thanked us for welcoming him as if we'd known him for years.  He told us he was on his way to Oklahoma to be with his mom, whom he hadn't seen for years, and who had always prayed that he would be saved.  His plan was to sit with her in church next Sunday morning.  There was not a dry eye in the sanctuary.

Daniel never asked for a single thing.  When I offered to give him a ride back to the bus stop where he was to meet someone, he refused me at first, saying he didn't mind walking.   I smiled to myself as I observed the Parkway members taking it in turns to visit with Daniel and to insist that he stay for lunch, which he did.  About the time Daniel was making his way to the Fellowship hall, ten fraternity boys arrived to help us with our church workday.

We all ate together: church members, frat boys, Daniel the homeless man, children, visitors, lesbians, hispanics, southerners, Democrats and Republicans.  It was a blessed communion!  Around those tables in that moment, there were no differences; just people talking, laughing, satisfying their hunger.   

Wherever Daniel is I hope he is safe, and is aware of Christ's continual presence beside him.  I am certain beyond a shadow of a doubt that God intended for Daniel to be with us that day, so that he might know acceptance and so that we might experience relevance.  

 
 
September is here, and it is as if the Earth is operating on our calendar exactly; the first wave of cooler air has moved in over Knoxville.  I love this type of weather.  It wakes us up, it signals the start of the new school year, and new beginnings all around.  

Seasonal changes can also signal upheaval.  My immediate thought when coming outside with the kids this morning was, "uh-oh, where DID I put the fall jackets last year?  Will their feet be cold in sandals today?"  The change of seasons jostles us out from our routine and reminds us that life moves on, and we must adapt.  

After a fantastic pot luck to welcome our family to Parkway this past Sunday, I was invited by one member to take a ride around the neighborhood on his motorcycle.  I was excited and frightened all at once!  Here I was, putting my life in the hands of someone else, who had complete control of the wheel.  What's more, if you've ever ridden a motorcycle as a passenger you know it's important to lean INTO the turns with the driver to help with the balance.  This goes counter to everything your body wants to do, which is to lean the other way to keep from falling.  
Bike riders also know that one feels very much more part of the world on a bike than in a car.  You notice the small things:  a farm house and barn on a hill, a small gas station on the corner, a group of goats behind a wooden fence.  You can also smell the world's smells, and feel the air whipping your face on the highway.  It is a complete sensory experience.  

As we move into the coolness of Fall, I hope that we as a church can travel like bikers.  I hope that we will be able to enjoy the sights, sounds and smells of the life we live together and to live fully in the moment.  I hope that we will remember to resist the insular ways of groups--always opening ourselves and ready to receive new people, just as they are, into our family.    Above all, we can rest in the knowledge that Christ is in control, and that we need only lean into the turns and curves ahead, confident that God knows the road.
 
 

We are definitely deep in the throes of winter.  Even here in East Tennessee, supposedly part of the sunny south, it has been cold for the past few days and is supposed to be even colder over the next few days.  This may not seem like a big deal to folks in other parts of the country; after all, in the north and midwest, cold weather seems to be almost part of the cultural identity.  But for those of us in the south, WARM weather is part of the cultural identity, and so to have such cold air in place pushes us well outside of our comfort zone! 

The weather isn't the only thing that makes the world seem cold right now.  The economy continues to sputter along.  The wars in the middle east not only continue but seem to be accelerating.  There is poverty and sickness and lonliness everywhere you turn-- even in those parts of the world who are having their warm summer season right now, cold and darkness seems to prevail.  People are hurting and are fearful for the future; many have lost jobs and homes to the recession, many have lost family members and friends to illness.  Some remain in nursing homes or in their own homes, forgotten and alone.  Many folks are simply hopeless.

For those who believe, however, there is always hope. For those who believe and practice their faith in churches and fellowship groups there is always friendship to be had; there is always support in times of trouble. We who gather in the name of the Lord find that there is something out there bigger than ourselves that we can be a part of even when everything else in our lives is going down the tubes.  We who gather in the name of the Lord know that being a part of the body of Christ means we will be accepted and loved no matter what difficulty we're facing.  We who gather in the name of the Lord know that together we're stronger than any of us are separately.  We know that, even in the coldest of times, the warmth of belonging is there to sustain us, enrich us, and bring us through whatever difficulties the world puts in our path. 

If you are facing a lay off or a foreclosure and need someone to talk to, please contact me through this blog.   If you're lonely and can't get out of your home, please contact me through this blog.  Sometimes just making human contact and sharing our troubles is enough to take our fears away-- or at least make them seem smaller.  I'd love to hear from you on this cold cold day! 

P 

 
Happy New Year! 12/31/2008
 

Today is the last day of the year.  Tonight my kids will be out at friends houses and my husband and I will be at home, celebrating on our own-- which is fine with me as I don't like to be on the road late on New Year's Eve.  But we always stay up watching movies and football and so forth, and we usually spend some time reflecting together on the year that is passing away, and looking ahead to the year to come.  Our year this year has been busy and eventful-- our son, who was living in Chicago last year, went from planning to move even farther away-- to Los Angeles-- to moving home for awhile; our daughter started her junior year of high school at a brand new school; I attended the PC(USA) General Assembly for the first time, and Jeff took a new job that started in December.  Life around here may not be terribly exciting all the time, but we do have our moments!

Reflecting on the years past is important because it can help us find the meaning and the pattern and the rhythms in our lives.  Often when we're in the midst of living our lives there isn't time, or we're too close to the action, for us to be able to process what is going on around us.  It's only later that we can say, "ok, I see how this was important" or "maybe that was why this happened."  We can look back and see where we were close in understanding with our loved ones, and where we pulled away from them.  We can see where what we were doing was helping us achieve our goals and where we were merely spinning our wheels. We can see times in which we were moving toward God and times in which we seemed to be moving away from God.  We can see where our priorities lay at different times-- and where we need work in order to get those priorities in correct order.

May your reflections on the past year reveal the many blessings of life and may you see the year ahead as a bright new challenge to be met, with God's help and guidance.



 
Christmas Week 12/23/2008
 

Tomorrow is Christmas eve.  When I was a kid I remember loving Christmas eve almost more than Christmas day, because we always went to Christmas Eve service at church, and then had some of our neighbors in for a dinner of pizza, lasagne, and chili.  We never opened gifts on Christmas Eve, we always waited until Christmas morning. And we almost never had snow on Christmas day-- that maybe happened once or twice during my childhood that I can remember; but it was always cold, so it felt like Christmas.  Things have changed over the years, and my parents don't even get together with the neighbors (and in fact one of the neighbors died right before Thanksgiving this year) but it is still the cold air that makes it feel like Christmas to me (and I still don't open presents on Christmas eve!)

Our memories are often what inform our present day experiences, and can enhance our enjoyment of traditions in the present or can keep us stuck in the past.  Traditions are wonderful because they ground us and help us to honor the people who came before us; but if we cling too tightly to them it can keep us from appreciating the life that is before us, and honoring the people who are with us now.  Sometimes it's good to make new traditions; doing so can make our lives fresher and reflect more accurately the place our lives are in at the present time, and even help us to process the changes that are going on around us.  Making new traditions doesn't mean we no longer honor or care for or are loyal to the people with whom those traditions evolved, and it doesn't mean throwing out all previous practices and starting over from scratch (unless that's what you want to do). Sometimes it means adding something small, like lighting advent candles each week with your children at dinner; sometimes it means taking the mantle of host onto your shoulders and giving your parents a rest from hosting the gathering. And sometimes we are forced by marriage, job changes, or even death of family members, to change our traditions.  Change happens whether we want it to or not.

So remember these tips for dealing with change at during the holidays:

1. Even if you've chosen to make a change, there might be grief involved. Don't ignore it if that happens, but take some quiet moments to feel it and acknowledge it, and then take a deep breath and move forward.

2. Think ahead about events during the year that might make changing holiday traditions necessary.  Newlyweds or new parents might want to make their own traditions, so don't make them feel guilty if they don't fit themselves into the usual plans.  Death, illness, job losses or changes and so forth are other things that might cause family members to want to do something new this year-- be prepared and allow them space.

3.  If you add a new practice to your holiday plans, think about doing away with one as well.  It's easy to get overwhelmed with trying to do everything and please everyone-- and it really isn't possible anyway.  While you're at it, do away with any practices that don't hold any particular meaning for you-- following tradition out of habit isn't good or necessary.  You may be afraid of hurting your loved ones feelings, but perhaps they're feeling the same way you are and would welcome a change.


 
 

The title of my blog today is a line from a song that is out right now.  It may be the title of the song, I don't know; I've only heard it a few times, and I don't really even know what the song is about. But that one line gets stuck in my head on the regular, and is enough to send me off into deep thought on the regular! It is even my Facebook status today!

To me, this is  a pretty profound statement-- particularly from a good Calvinist pov.  What it says to me, as a good Calvinist, is that our humanness keeps us from dancing the kind of dance God has in mind for us.  Not that we're puppets on a string that God pulls one way or another, but that, as humans, we are trapped under the weight of sin that we all carry; and that our souls are meant to be light and free from the gravity of human existance that weighs us down.  When we dance with God we become free to be Adam and Eve, in the garden, once again-- free to be innocent and naive, free to believe the best of others, free to not expect hurt and pain to be a natural part of our experience, free to be who we are as children of God, without fear of hurting or disappointing God  or the ones we love.

The good news is that in Christ we can dance as God hopes we will dance. Jesus Christ, while on earth, gave us the example of what it looks like to dance.  Following him, following his teachings, can help us to leave behind some of our own humanness; as we do so we become as dancers, our spirits atwirl in the air, floating and laughing and weightless and full of light.

 
Tuesday Musings 12/10/2008
 

I am writing my entry at Paneral today.  Sometimes I like to get out of my office and into the world around me when I am writing or planning the worship and my sermon for the week.  I like to imagine the lives of the people sitting around me.   Perhaps it would be even better if I were somehow able to break through my own introverted ways and actually talk to some of them, but I'm hoping that will come someday!

It isn't quite close enough to Christmas yet for the holiday spirit to have really kicked in-- at least here.  Now, in the stores, Christmas is in full swing and has been for several weeks.  But here at Panera the holiday decorations are subtle-- deep red banners with pinecone images on them, which are largely there to advertise the seasonal sandwich and soup.  One side does say "give, recieve, rejoice"; but that's really the extent of the holiday message.  I have to admire Panera for not trying to be more than it is during the Christmas season! 

I have seen too many ads this year from desperate retailers trying to lure people into their stores by playing on their emotions or sentimentality. The one that annoys me the most is the one that suggests people should not just give a gift, but fulfill a dream.  Talk about pressure!  Is it no longer adequate to think it's the thought behind the gift that counts?  Must we now make ourselves responsible for fulfilling the dreams of everyone on our list?  I mean, face it: trying to fulfill someone's dreams through a Christmas gift is really setting yourself up for disappointment. 

Ok, so I must sound like the Christmas curmudgeon.  And I'm not at all against giving and receiving gifts.  I enjoy finding something for my loved ones that will make their faces light up with happiness and/ or surprise.  Last year I got my husband the perfect gift-- for him-- a travel electronic chess set.  It may be the best gift I've ever given him in 23 years of being married (or in the top 5, anyway.)  Did it fulfill his dreams?  Or help him make his dreams come true in any way?  Not really.  But it has given him some enjoyment and happiness over this past year--and that's enough for both of us. 

 
 

The lectionary scriptures this week are all about preparing the way. In our progression thru the season of advent, this is second step after the keeping awake of last week.  Isaiah 40:1-11 speaks of the redemption of Israel that is to come, which is fortold by a voice calling out in the wilderness "prepare the way of the Lord!"  The passage envisions a leveling and a straightening that will enable all to see the glory of the Lord.    Mark 1:1-8 begins with a paraphrase of a portion of the Isaiah text, linking that text to the figure of John the Baptizer.  In John's world, preparing the way involved undergoing a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins; his ministry was going ahead of the one who was to come, who would be more powerful and more worthy and who would baptize with the Holy Spirit.   2 Peter 3:8-15 provides the early church (and us!) with a picture of what sort of people we ought to become as we wait, how we might want to be when the Lord returns:  living lives of holiness and godliness; at peace, without spot or blemish. 

I think it trips us humans up a little bit when we start trying to imagine oursleves living lives of holiness and godliness, without spot or blemish.  At heart I think we sense that we aren't really capable of being spotless, of living holy and godly lives; so we begin to make comparisons of our sin over and against someone else's sin; we make rules to follow that will ensure our righteousness-- if only we are able to follow all of the rules, which is nigh on impossible.  We begin to see holiness and godliness as boring and too hard to achieve, so why try?  Or we fool ourselves into thinking that we alone (or along with a select few of our buddies) are capable of meeting standards, and so it's up to us to make sure everyone else is at least trying. And so, in our attempts to be sinless and spotless and blemish free, or in rebellion against too many rules that are just too difficult to follow, we end up sinning just as badly as if we never tried to be holy and godly at all.

The good news is that Christ will return, and as followers of Christ, we will be ready.  We have already, by virtue of believing in him, set ourselves apart-- which is what it really means to be holy.  We are godly because we believe in the God, Christ, and Spirit that exist in our lives.  If we are beleivers we have already recieved Christ and therefore the way has already been prepared for his return.  And if we know people who aren't believers, then it is up to us to share the stories of how Christ is in our lives, so that they may recieve the promises too. 

 
Advent, Week 1 12/04/2008
 

It's been a week since Thanksgiving, almost a week since our latest "Black Friday"-- that day of the year that kicks off the Christmas shopping season. It was truly a black day for the family of the man in New York who was trampled to death by shoppers forcing their way into a Wal-Mart, and for those injured in the same melee.  Over the years a greater and greater emphasis has been placed on Black Friday as the harbringer of good news or bad news for Christmas retail spending; and for the entire Christmas season as the savior of the retail sales total for the year.  This year, with the economy down and overall spending down retailers promised deep discounts on for shoppers who came early; and it was preseumably these deep discounts-- and perhaps fear that they would miss out on a "deal"-- that caused some shoppers to trample another human being, and some to step over his body as he lay there dying. 

Now, I'll be the first to admit, I love Christmas, and I love giving and getting Christmas presents; but when I read about situations such as this, it really puts me off of the whole deal.  To think that there is so much pressure on folks to buy expensive gifts for family and friends really flies in the face of even what Saint Nicholas was trying to achieve.  To think that retailers play on our desire to please our loved ones by buying them things-- in order to increase their bottom line, their stock price, and their stockholders dividends-- really brings out the cynic in me. 

I'm not going to call for a boycott of shopping and giving gifts this year.  But I would like to remind us all to be mindful of what we do, what we buy and what we spend this year.  Don't be pressured to spend money you don't have just to give someone a "thing"; find creative ways to give gifts that will be longer lasting and make for happier times.  Give loved ones the gift of your time, your love, your peace.  Forgive an old wound, or ask forgiveness from someone you've wronged.  Use the time you'd spend shopping to bake some cookies and then give them all away.  Hold a potluck dinner (or covered dish or whatever you call it in your area) in your neighborhood and build relationships with your neighbors.  Sit down with your parent or grandparent or teenager and ask them the meaning of life, and then really listen to what they have to say.  It is the season for love, and there are so many other ways to show love than through buying things for people.  Ways that are cost less in $$$ but will mean so much more than yo

 
 

So one of my problems with weeks that have holidays in the middle of them is that the week is so short that I don't get done everything that needs to be done! 

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.  We had a nice day-- spent time with my family and with Jeff's, eating 2 meals as usual (although I managed to keep them both reasonable this year). Both gatherings were somewhat small-- my brother and his family were missing this year, due to my brother's heart surgery earlier in the fall; on Jeff's side, it was the immediate Carter family with no extended family, so it was very quiet.  Or, as quiet as that group gets!  We had nice visits on both sides, though very short, as we were home by Friday afternoon.

It is a little odd to be the middle aged part of the family now and have the "children" be the young adults.  We really have no "little ones" at this point in either family (my youngest nephew is 10 and several of the cousins have graduated from college or are in college right now.)  We even have one new family getting ready to start-- one of my nephews got engaged earlier this year-- and the cycle of life continues to spin.  Our families are very blessed to have had only a few real difficult situations to deal with; for the most part everyone remains healthy and happy and engaged in life and work and family and church and all of the things we hope for in our human existence.  God's grace continually touches us and reminds us of our blessings as well as the responsibility that comes with being so blessed. 

And now, on to Advent! May God bless us all as we await together the Christ who was, who is, and who is to come.